Retirement Farm Rainstorm

Our first big rainstorm of the season came and went yesterday with huge claps of thunder and an impressive lightning show.  Since the little retirement farm I built is only six months old, this will be our first winter there, and I was excited to go out and see how the horses and their simple shelter fared!  Once the bulk of the rain passed, I packed up the Rotties in the truck and headed out. 

Most mornings when I get there the horses just saunter over at their own leisurely pace.  Not today!  Chex the pony came galloping down the hill, sliding to a stop through the mud just inches from the fence line.  Joey and Piper did several laps of enthusiastic bucking before they settled down.  As I fed, I noticed their coats wet and glistening from the rain, the only dry parts the underside of their bellies.  

Since all of my life I’ve kept my horses in a barn, with a blanket on, in a box stall or covered paddock, this is a new way of seeing the horses for me.  My first reaction was to think “Oh no, they’re WET!!  Are they cold?  Are they uncomfortable?  How can I dry them off?!?”.   As I fed and watered, the most interesting thing happened.  As the sun shined brightly and warmed their bodies, steam rose off of them and disappeared into the crisp air.  It was simply the most beautiful sight!  I went over to Chex and felt his coat….while the outermost layer was indeed wet, his skin was dry.  And, he was warm!  

I returned to the paddock with the wheelbarrow to clean and was struck by the metaphor of this scene in my life.   When I’m getting pelted by difficult things, my instinct is to cover myself, to take shelter, just like I’ve done with the horses.  How this manifests though is that I tend to isolate and withdraw from people.  I don’t want to be seen in this vulnerable state, dripping wet and soggy in my humaness.  But what came to me as I watched the steam rise off of the wet horses was how on the inside, they were just A-Ok.  Dry.  Warm.  Content.  I didn’t need to fix it by drying them off or putting a blanket on them.  Nature had taken care of that by giving them a coat that could keep them safe from the elements.  I realized that I have that too…my own 'coat', an undeniable sense of resilience and strength that can withstand WHATEVER life pelts me with.  I’ve always had it, will always have it, and you do too.  Venture within….be brave…..God didn’t bring us into this world just to drop us on our heads!  Become still and watch the steam rise from the warm soul of your being, enjoy the sun on your face, and don’t be afraid of the next storm.  You have everything you’ll need to weather it.  

A New Beginning

Hello everyone, and welcome to my new blog "Horse(wo)manship"!  I am so excited to tell you all what I've been working on for the past year and to hear your comments and feedback.  Your first question is probably "What the heck is Horse(wo)manship"?!?  Well, I'll start with a little story.

My dad taught me how to ride...young!

In May of 2014, I participated for the second year in a clinic with a well known horseman who I respect immensely.  While I am devoted to and inspired by his work, I felt after my second year  a sense that something was missing.  I talked with several women after the clinic who felt frustrated and dejected as well.  It wasn't that the clinician was mean or even that we didn't learn a lot of useful skills-he is a kind, gifted horseman who is also a master teacher.  The content of the clinic was spot on.  We loved the clinic....we loved the clinician...but it was like, 'Oh boy, where do we go from here?!?'  It felt like we all needed a 'clinic after the clinic', a place where we could talk about our feelings and all that we processed during our work with the horses.

At the clinic on my horse C2

For me, it was clear that traditional horsemanship, while good for the horse, can be very hard on the horseman.....especially if that horseman happens to be a woman!  Women inherently come to the table (aka, the barn) with a unique set of histories, stories, hopes, and dreams.  So many of us are drawn to horses because of how a horse or story of a horse impacted us a child....or, we are drawn to horses because of the mystical possibilities that horses represent.  While the research is limited, there are several theories of why women are so drawn to horses...some plausible, some fairly bizarre!  http://www.horsecollaborative.com/women-love-horses/#

In my experience, horses represent so much more for us than just a tool for ranch work, athletic outlet, or way to express our wealth or social status.  Horses embody our hopes, dreams and fears.  They are big and have minds of their own.  They love us unconditionally.  They look to us for care.  And in all that, we feel an immense sense of responsibility to be the best with them that we can be.

What I felt after the clinic, and witnessed among several other women there, was this sense of distress and even of depression that we were standing on the edge of a precipice....that we had been given this immense responsibility to be advocates for our horses, but that most of the time we all feel fairly ill-equipped to be able to even advocate for ourselves.  As a horse trainer/riding instructor for the past 25 years, www.ridgemarkfarm.com I have often noticed this as well-that the physical aspects of riding are not what my students struggle with the most.  Oftentimes our lessons lead into long, heartfelt discussions about how their lessons make them feel about themselves.  I started becoming intrigued by the prospect of using the horses to help my students get to know themselves....for their lessons to become a platform for greater self awareness.  And so, the seed for "Horse(wo)manship" was planted!!

The girls and I at a lesson

My intention for Horse(wo)manship is:

1. To explore the ways in which by deepening our relationship to horses, we can deepen our relationship with ourselves
2. To learn how to become more 'horse-like'.  By exploring the ways of being that come so naturally to horses, and noticing how much we struggle with these things as humans, we can learn to amplify our own inner strengths, values, and energies
3. To further explore how to create a true partnership with both the horses and the humans in our lives
4. To chronicle my experiences with the horses that have graced my life, especially the serendipitous ones of the past year,  and to honor the blessings they've given me

I look forward to hearing your comments and exploring our relationship with the horses in our lives together!  Happy trails!!